December 31, 2011
What a pleasant surprise in my inbox to see that Jessie over at Eatin’ My Heart Out, had nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award. Jessie wrote, “Thank you for allowing me to view my daily struggles through your blogging in a different and welcomed light. Thank you for your writing!” You are welcome Jessie – every time I feel like throwing in the towel (on the blog, NOT on recovery!), I get a comment or message like this and it pushes me forward.
So as the rules go…
1. In a post on your blog, nominate 15 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award.
2. In the same post, Add the Versatile Blogger Award badge
3. In the same post, thank the blogger who nominated you in a post with a link back to their blog.
4. In the same post, share 7 completely random pieces of information about yourself.
5. In the same post, include this set of rules.
6. Inform each nominated blogger of their nomination by posting a comment on each of their blogs.
7 Random Things About Me (a challenge because most things I thought of, I am sure I have mentioned on this site).
- I want to travel more – I have never been to New York City and I have always wanted to go. I have also never been to Key West and I have lived in the state of Florida for 90% of my life.
- I have loved writing since I was a little girl and I began asking my parents to read my stories. My fear of success gets in my way a lot but I would love to continue to build my career as a writer.
- I was going to be named Nicole, but my dad thought that Nikki sounded like a stripper’s name, so instead I became Natalie and every dog we ever owned (okay, just the 2) were named Nikki.
- Volleyball scares me. I am very athletic and get extra cranky when I miss a day or running, walking, swimming, yoga.. whatever. But a beach volleyball came among friends – I will fake a sprained wrist, ankle, eyelid… faster than you can say Gabby Reece.
- I dont’ like to be told what to do (I realize that this won’t be a shock to most people…)
- I never liked New Kids on The Block – I was such an outsider during this fan frenzy, but just couldn’t get behind it. I loved me some NYSNC and Backstreet Boys though. Oh and Wham;)
- I cannot wink…. (ashamed).
My nominees – This was hard to narrow down
- Sarah from This Mom’s Wired
- Kat from Sassy Irish Lassie
- Megan from Undomestic Diva
- Leah from Califmom
- Angela from AngEngland
- Kelly from Be Anything But Quiet
- Monica from Alone in the Chidlerness
- Erica from EricaSays
- Amy from Burgers and Beer to Banners and Benchmarks
- Juliet from JulietJeske
- Tsh from Simplemom
- Mandy from Since My Divorce
- Carrie at EdBites
- Jessica from The Mental Word
December 31, 2011
I don’t care for New Year’s Resolutions – I think they are a set up for failure. I do believe in goal setting – and I only have one main goal for 2012: Get Back on Track.
Most days I wake up in a confused haze (no, not from a night of drinking) and instantly start “putting out fires” (small, child-sized and child-created fires that just keep coming and coming and coming). And by the end of the day, I am so bent out of shape that even if I remembered how to relax, I cannot.
I have dreams and ambitions- some of those dreams and ambitions involve my hopes for each of the children and the lives they will create and some are just my own. Some dreams I have had since childhood and I carry them around in a special pocket in my mind with the thought that “one day…” But I am too tired to follow through on any of them. This is no way to live (and in my opinion, it’s not why I was given a second chance after last year’s … suicide attempt – I always try and make that into some funny phrase or word, but there really isn’t anything funny about it). I have given many, many years over to my eating disorder and now I feel like I am giving up what could be some of the best years of mine and the kids’ lives (I mean, the kids still think I know everything! That won’t last much longer;) to the exhaustion of motherhood.
So to get back on track I plan on STICKING TO MY BOUNDARIES. I have GOT to figure out how to say NO more often. And I need to figure out how to get more QUIET TIME ALONE to just breathe. There are so many days where I can’t actually find any quiet unless it’s in the shower with the door shut – but even then I can still hear some sort of chaos breaking out just beyond the bathroom door. I also need to find a way to work in more yoga, it makes me feel so much better but it has not been in the money or time budget lately (and if you have ever tried to do yoga in the living room with 4 kids trying to run through your down dog, then you know it is far from relaxing).
Well I used up my free moment and now the twins are having another he said/she said argument that must be dealt with.
Here’s hoping all of you find inner peace in 2012.
December 20, 2011
My bestie and I have been pretty inspired lately by all the craftiness on Pinterest and we have decide to give some a try. Here is are first Pinterest-inspired craft creation.
And I must say, for someone who suffers from insane anxiety, these really are pretty calming. It takes a while to watch the glitter gently float back down to the bottom and it does give you pause and time to breathe.
What are your tricks for calming down when you are overwhelmed, angry or anxious?
December 11, 2011
Wow. 5 people have a lot of stuff – and this is coming from someone who purges her stuff on a regular basis. SO still unpacking and organizing. At least 50% of my kids are sick again – so that has been an added stressor.
But I still found time to watch Christmas movies – even if it was while passing through the living room to put away one load of laundry after another:)
Here is my latest at Blissfully Domestic – Best Movie Santas.
December 5, 2011
Moving day was yesterday. Five friends of mine gave up their entire Saturday to help me move. We got everything onto one moving truck – that my sister was awesome enough to let us use – in less than 2 hours and before I knew it we were almost completely unpacked at the new house. I was overwhelmed by their willingness – even excitement – to help me start this new chapter. This past year in recovery has really shown me how amazing supportive friends can be (especially when you ask for help). I will never forget how generous they were this weekend (nor will I forget that a friend took apart an Ikea bunk bed AND put it back together without once shouting expletives or tossing the pieces of wood out the window – which is most likely what I would have done).
But all of that love and support doesn’t change the fact that I am still riding a wave of grief – and yes, the word grief can apply here – it’s a loss on many levels. Some moments I am optimistic and hopeful and the next I am looking for a dark hole to hide in. Seeing the kids feeling a little unsure and unsettled in their new surroundings made my heart sink. Everything feels very heavy right now, but I will not let it derail me. One day at a time, fake it ’til you make it, *insert other 12-step program cliche here.*