Foggy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am not feeling well. And the twins are sick – beginning of the school year typical stuff I assume. But when I am sick, I am always a tad more introspective. I realized it’s coming up on 2 years since I started recovery – also known as 2 years since I downed a bottle of Xanax after drinking in hopes to … I don’t know, I still don’t… stop the pain I guess. 15 years of being bulimic and anorexic can take it’s toll on a person. It’s also been almost a year since the kids and I left my marital home. I thought I was handling all of it okay, but I am not so sure now. Maybe it hit home more after the exhausting legal process was over in May. Or maybe it’s because Fall holds a lot of uncomfortable anniversaries of sorts for me. Or maybe it’s because the holidays are coming. No matter the reason – I feel like I am walking through a fog. Most days I would rather just stay in bed. When my ex has the kids, I mostly spend the day shut in the house. I don’t want to see anyone or do anything – not so much that I am isolating as that I am exhausted. Exhausted on every level. I don’t remember being this tired since I gave birth to Talia after a very long and painful labor. When the kids are in school, I try and sit down at my laptop to write for the sites I freelance for, but often I end up in tears or start frantically cleaning – as if I could earn my “housewife” status back by spit-shinning everything (I feel like there is a joke there, but I am not in a joking mood).

There was a point to this and it is – regardless of the severe depression I am trudging through right now (yes, I am seeing a doctor), there is no part of me that wants to go back to starving myself or purging on a regular basis. I am human, I slip up every once in a while – but I have no desire to go back to that way of life. It was miserable, a death sentence and in the end, it never served me in a positive way – no matter how hard I tried to tell myself it worked.

No matter what you are going through in your life, put your recovery first – you cannot take care of your family if you don’t take care of yourself first.

In other news, I found out this week that my friend Amber’s baby boy has cancer – Stage 4 Neuroblastoma. She and I went to high school together but reconnected the past 2 years when her other son and my twins were in the same preschool. As a mother, I can only begin to imagine the horror she is facing. I can barely stand to watch my kids when they have a cold or the stomach flu. I know not everyone is in the position to donate – but even if you cannot do that – read about Hudson and send some positive energy, prayers and love their way. Here is the Facebook page dedicated to Hudson and here is the link to the fundraising page.

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5 Responses to “Foggy”

  1. Hey. I know how you are feeling. It’s ok. I get it. If you can, do anything you can to get out of your head… quiet that monkey mind that feeds you a bunch of negative thoughts that informs your body that it should stay in and sleep it all away. It’s full of shit. Find someone to hang with that can make you laugh and if you don’t have anyone then call me. I’ll bet I can. You are awesome, and amazing, and you’ve made a major difference in the lives of so many. My divorce was final two weeks ago after four years of recovery from from ten years of living in an abusive situation that had so much to do with my alcoholic past… I’ve had to go back time and time again to accomplish different layers of healing and I know i’m far from done. It helps me to know you are on the path too. Regardless of how alone you may feel sometimes, I am here to tell you that you are not. XO Peace out sister, M

    • Thank you so much Monica – this really helped me to read. I forget sometimes that I am not alone on this journey – none of us are. And I have to remind myself there is no quick fix and that I have to allow the feelings to come up and not try and numb them.

  2. I am 27 years old… a mother of 3 under 4 and a full time college student. I started following your blog after I came across your pinterest. At the time I had just started my recovery with bulimia and anorexia… I’m struggling… I never stopped struggling, but reading your honestly helps me understand myself… Thank you!

    • Thank you so much for reading! I don’t update as often as I would like to and I forget sometimes that people do actually read this site on occasion. You can do this! As Monica just reminded me – we are not alone in this process. Keep reaching out to other people in recovery. And I feel you completely on the overwhelming responsibility of 3 under 4 – I can promise you that while parenting never gets easier, it does get better and you feel like you actually get some space to breath as they get a little older – my youngest – twins – are almost 5 and it’s much easier than when they were newborns or wild 2-year-olds.

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